Okay, we still have a little less than 48 hours to go before the clock ushers us into 2020. I've been thinking about this post for a while. The internet is bombarded with new year resolutions to come, what was trending in 2019, the best ____________ of 2019, etc. I really struggled here. First, I wanted to write about all the books I read this year. Then, I wanted to impart some wisdom. Then I thought a New Year's Day post talking about Haitian Independence Day or my goals for the year. Maybe because I traveled back and forth between Bridgeport and Troy, my mind was all over the place but one thing kept coming up. Speak from the heart and don't overthink it. So I don't have anything new to write. I'm not going to say all the things that seem perfect for a post like this. What I have here is a post I wrote in the past hoping that it might still resonate with you now. And as far as the new year...well, you can start that whenever you want and whenever that is, I wish you a happy one.
[Original post published on Facebook on December 3, 2013 at 1:51 am]
This is not a poem. It is a piece of my soul wrapped up in some language living on my lips. :)
So a few weeks ago I posted a new status on my page asking what your life would be like if you actively pursued your dreams 365 days out of the year. Yes, that’s right, EVERY single day live out purpose in your life fully and productively. What would happen if we all did that? How different would our world be? How would we affect everything around us? Well, after I wrote that, those questions would not leave me. A random thought turned into a pressing thought. I started envisioning results. I started seeing other people trying to accomplish that sort of commitment with me. It might sound funny but after sharing the idea with a friend, we started seeing tee shirts with the number 365 on it. And maybe we were sort of serious about the tee shirts but I’m ahead of myself. I have to really discuss what this means to me.
Where do I begin? Well for one, I have been waiting a long time. For what? For everything. There is a lot I should have had done by now. I prayed for it. God provided the resources for things to happen. God surrounded me with people who support my work. And yet, I have moved at a pace that makes turtles think they have a chance. That’s not to say I haven’t made progress. Some time ago, I realized that God gave me all these gifts that quite frankly I wasn’t really using to my full potential. I decided to use those gifts and here I am years later, performing, writing, guest teaching, and making art. I am grateful for what I have done so far but for the amount of work I had in my head bursting to get out and the amount of work I produced; I can honestly say I am not there yet. There is an imbalance and lack of discipline.
Needless to say when I asked the question originally, I didn’t direct it towards myself. It was more rhetorical I think. Just something to throw into the atmosphere. Still, I got to thinking what would have happened if I had been doing that. Let’s just say the list was too long to note here. I know I can’t be the only one. We get ideas. We think they are brilliant. We even find others who think they are brilliant. Then what do we do? We sit on the ideas. Let them marinate so long in our spirit we get distracted. We wait until we feel like it to work on it. The feeling does not come as often as it should. We finish years later. Often times we do not finish at all. Is it just me?
If that is not enough, to top it all off, I asked myself how can I say I believe God and I believe God can do exceedingly, abundantly above all that I ask and not act on it…just wait for stuff to ‘happen’ to me? Faith without works is dead, right? I’m not trying to preach. I’m just trying to convey my conflict.
My favorite quote is “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough” said by Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, first female president of an African country. I love that quote so much I think of it at least once a day. Truth is I have big dreams. People who know me well know this is very true. The other truth is I have to admit I am scared. How do I know that? Because my brain starts playing the question game and then I doubt things. I don’t give up. It just means it will take longer to get out. I refuse to continue like that.
Today is December 2, 2013. [Well, technically it's December 3rd now] It is an ordinary Monday but it is the first day of my 365 journey. Instead of wondering what would happen if someone did that, I am going to be the someone. If people join along the way, all the more awesome! Every day for 365 days, I will do one thing a day towards those big dreams and God’s purpose. What that means is I might finally publish a book, finish that CD, make moves towards that cultural arts center that’s been brewing in my spirit…who knows what I will accomplish. All I know is that I will accomplish. I did not want to start on January 1st for two reasons: 1. it’s cliché 2. New Year’s resolutions don’t resolve much for me. But December 2, that’s my day. And if you want to do this, you can pick a day, any regular day and make it yours. Start fresh and push harder. Let me know if you will. Journeys do not always have to be done alone. I know this was long. Thank you for reading it all if you made it to the end!